How the memories came flooding back in. There we were, at a middle school track meet. The first for my daughter since joining her school’s team.
If you’ve never participated in a track meet then you’ve missed out on one of life’s unforgettable experiences. It is also the closest thing to war that most of us will ever see. There are super sharp javelins flying in every direction. There is constant gunfire from starter pistols. People are always running for their lives or rolling around on the ground in agony … sometimes with javelins sticking out of their ribs. And coaches sound like brave generals giving poetic and inspirational talks that basically revolve around: “If you’re gonna’ die, then today is a great day to do it.”
WHAT?!? Die?!? I’m running one time around the track, coach! What the heck are you talking about?
I went to a pretty small high school in Tampa and we had a pretty small track team. This meant you couldn’t just specialize in the races that fit you the best. Teams had to enter a specific number of events, so we were constantly being thrown into strange sports we never knew existed before getting off the bus. (Why did we get off the bus?)
“Brian,” I would hear. “Why don’t we send you to do the … SHOT PUT! Yeah, that sounds good.”
“Shot put!?!” I would reply, making a sound like I was gasping and spitting at the same time. “Have you seen me?!? The shot weighs more than I do. I’ll probably snap in half. You’d be better off entering a pine needle than me!”
“Nope! You’ll do great. And it starts in 10 seconds, so head out.”
Head out? Head out where? Where do they even do the … oh … oh crap, I see it. Over there. Where all the guys who look like sumo wrestlers are standing around. They clapped chalk onto their hands. They launched huge metal balls into the air like cannons. They grunted and groaned and roared wildly to make the shot roll a little further … or to scare off dragons hiding in the distant tree line.
It was intimidating to walk over in my short-shorts and arms that had such tiny muscles that they were often mistaken for goosebumps. “So … uh … is tossing it underhand actually against the rules or just kind of frowned upon?” I asked.
“Runners!” someone would grumble beneath their breath.
There are sports that you can try and really surprise yourself at. You might enter the high jump and realize you have a natural propensity to leap and contort your body over the bar. Shot put? Well, shot put is not one of those sports. In fact, the best you can hope for is launching it with enough force so that it doesn’t land on your toes. Or that you don’t trip and stumble out of the circle … where the shot lands on your toes.
Or better yet, that an errant javelin comes out of nowhere and stabs you in the ribs … before the shot lands on your toes. As an added bonus, this will get you out of what your coach signed you up for next: pole vaulting!