I got excited when I heard the webinar instructor mention that only 2 percent of the population could be considered this: super multitaskers. Doesn’t it sound cool? Super troopers. Superman. Superstar. Super duper. Superfluous.
But “super multitasker?” Now, that would be truly special!
And maybe I was one.
He was about to give us a quiz that would test our ability to multitask. He said no one he had come across yet fell into that category of amazing people, but maybe today would be the day. “Yeah, maybe today,” I thought. “Maybe I’m the Golden Multitasker!”
Super multitaskers are a special class of people (or a cult … I’m not quite sure) who can effectively and efficiently manage numerous tasks at once without, say, walking off a towering cliff while texting, “Yeah, bro, it WOULD be awesome if monkeys could fly!”
Could I be one?
The truth was humbling. Three seconds into the quiz I had already failed. In fact, I had forgotten what the quiz was even about thanks to a squirrel at the window making faces at me. Squirrels are SO cute! (I should text someone that.)
Anyway, it proved the instructor’s point: Multitasking is a myth, and we’re all really bad at it. Aside from the super-people – and those who know magic and sorcery – most brains can’t manage more than one task at a time. That’s why men are so good when their wives say, “OK, you have only one thing to remember and that’s to take the clothes out of the dryer.” Wait a minute … why aren’t we any good at that?!?
I always fancied myself a multitasker. Not because I was good at it – I’m TERRIBLE at it – but because I figured it saved me time and got things done quicker. Take getting ready in the morning: I am one of the three slowest shower takers in the world (Really! Google it.) So, to make up time, I combine really odd tasks, like brushing my teeth while putting on my shoes. And I know what you’re thinking, “That makes total sense! Why didn’t I think of that?!?”
Only, I always end up with an index finger wedged behind my heel while a glob of toothpaste the size of an arctic ice shelf drips down my shirt. I’ve had this go so wrong that I literally need another shower.
And we all do it. We think multitasking will be the panacea (fancy word that means something I don’t remember right now). We think we can bounce from this to that, listen to instructions while playing games on our phones, and … hold on … SQUIRREL!
But the truth is, we can’t. Our brains are designed to focus on one task and then move to the next. (Or take a nap.) That is why so many people are found at the bottoms of cliffs after sending texts that read, “I feel REALLY light right now.”
So I’m going to try to be done with multitasking. It’s never worked for me or saved actual time. Maybe I should learn to focus a little more.
Although, I might give that toothbrushing while putting on my shoes another shot. Stupid squirrel really messed me up last time.