It’s like the turning of the leaves in fall or that sweet smell of early spring. The signs that summer is quickly coming to a close are just as obvious. Subtly creeping in on you as July closes out and ugly August invites itself like an unwanted houseguest … or fungus. Have you noticed any of the signs yourself? You know, like …
- You’re making frantic trips to the beach all the time, at all hours of the day. It’s because your family is complaining that they didn’t get enough time there. That summer is supposed to be filled with the beach and sunburns that make you resemble microwaved bacon and so much sand tracked into your house that beach officials show up with a dump truck to ask for it all back. But if you don’t get enough “beach time,” there is a big race to make it up. That means you’ll get woken up at 2 a.m. by people screaming, “Hurry! Get up! We still need to get to the beach 62 more times before Wednesday.”
- There is great moaning and wailing at all hours of the day. Cries of, “why does it have to end!?!” and “I was just getting used to sleeping in until 10 a.m.!” and “you just wouldn’t understand, dad, because you had to go to work everyday! WE’RE SUFFERING!!!”
- You start doing your summer to-do list. This is a sure sign that summer is winding down because it suddenly occurs to you that of the 21,000 things you planned to do, only one has been crossed off. (And that’s only because in the time it took you to fix it, it became obsolete and therefore unnecessary. Score one for procrastination!) But everything else is still waiting for you! And most of it is outside, where it has reached the boiling point of lava. This happened to me the other morning when I went out to do some much-needed weeding. When I regained consciousness, I was on the sofa with a cold compress and my family recounting the story of how I burst into flames like a phoenix and had to be doused in iced tea.
- Your brother’s dog comes over. A sure sign summer is coming to an end is when other people’s vacations start to negatively impact your life. How rude! It’s a reminder that your own getaway was months in the past and your life has reverted back to old routines where the highlight is discussing the best way to keep bread from going stale. And then, to rub salt in the wounds, your brother’s dog shows up! Sure, they watched your dog when you went away, but that was back when you were upbeat and happy and you had the whole summer ahead of you. Now, you’re bitter and cranky and this bowling ball with feet keeps stepping on your toes and wanting to eat the neighbor’s cat.
- You realize your child has no clothes that fit her, that you waited too long to go back-to-school shopping and now she is going to have to start 7th grade in a faded Hello Kitty T-shirt and shorts that violate the school dress code by at least 14 feet.
Oh, goodbye summer!