My daughter finished up her first season of middle school tennis last week. She’s played sports before, but never on a team like this. And even though she will probably let all the air out of my tires for saying it … I’m so squeakin’ proud of her!
It was awesome as a parent to go watch and cheer her on. But, I’m also learning there are a whole lot of ins and outs to being the parent of a kid playing a sport. So this week I’ve written the Code of Athlete Parenting:
• Thou shalt not blurt out “Doh!” loud enough for your child to hear if he or she misses a shot, or sends a ball into lower Earth orbit. The next shot might be aimed at your head.
• Thou shalt not blurt out loud enough for everyone to hear, “Yeah! That’s right! Eat it, punk!” when your child brilliantly tucks a ball in an un-returnable corner. And if you do happen to do this and people turn around to glare at you, just blame “medication” and start drooling. That will buy you at least a pass or two.
• Thou shalt learn how to keep score. Listen, I grew up playing soccer, where the scores are so low even dolts like me can remember them. And running, a sport that is great because you never have to count. “Did you win?” No. “What place did you come in?” They don’t count up that high. Very simple stuff. But tennis has all the complexity of quantum physics. Scores are like “30-love,” which makes absolutely NO sense! People would walk up and ask, “So, how’s she doing?” I would stare intently at the court and sadly remark, “Honestly, I have no idea. Could be she’s winning … or she’s already lost.”
• Thou shalt not say anything for at least 10 minutes after a match for fear of saying something completely wrong … because everything you say will be COMPLETELY wrong.
• Thou shalt not be overly honest or dishonestly supportive if your child loses large. Find the middle ground between “Boy, that was a real stinker!” and “Boy, you looked like Serena Williams out there today!” Be positive, but honest. For instance: “You know, when you served, you enunciated the score SO well.”
• Thou shalt not carry on a conversation, look away, take a bathroom break or even blink during a match. Because if you do, you will miss some act of brilliance that will be talked about for the rest of your life: “What do you mean you missed my ace!?! It literally caught on fire as it crossed the net and burned a hole in my opponent’s shirt!” But … but … I saw this really cute squirrel eating a nut …
• Thou shalt stare in awe at this child out doing something he or she loves — taking that chance, braving a new challenge and putting her heart and soul into every swing for nothing more than the sheer joy of it. Isn’t that what childhood is all about? And isn’t that what makes parenting so wonderful?