Washing machine un-level again … wife perturbed … must … resist … temptation … to Google it. Must … resist … temptation … to watch … rubes … on YouTube … who … know … less … than … strained … carrots …
AHHHH! Can’t do it!
Me: Google, find me morons who know why washing machine goes un-level.
Google: I have just the moron for you!
And so it goes …
I hate appliances. I used to think the problem with appliances is you can’t buy cheap. So, I started buying more expensive ones. It was then that I realized something very important: Expensive appliances are just higher-priced cheap ones. They break the same amount, but the repairs cost more.
That’s when the DIY-er in me comes out. The urge. The pull. The tractor beam that calls me to the light. Or the Dark Side. Or whatever the heck makes very dumb people with questionable repair skills think there must be a cheap and easy solution within our grasp.
It’s called: YouTube!
Have you heard of this fairy tale land? It’s where the desperate and the deranged go to find solutions to their problems. It’s a place where any so-and-so can record a video and proclaim their expertise at being expertly stupid.
But we go there. And we watch them. And we think they have the solution because … well … they’re on YouTube! It’s always some guy who sounds relatively knowledgeable and competent. He explains how he is having THE EXACT SAME problem as me and that he came across the PERFECT solution. Now we’re talkin’! I sit on the edge of my seat listening in anticipation as he gives his magnificent hack: “So what I did here is I … uh … stuffed a bunch of my wife’s bras around the inside of the washer tub. See? Works great.”
OK, wait a minute … WHAT!?!? I just watched a 12-minute video to hear some guy tell me he stuffed his wife’s undergarments in the machine!?! Does he realize how much those cost? She’s going to kill him!
Video after video goes on like this. I stopped trying to decide whether I could trust the solution and instead began rating the reliability of the person giving the advice. Can I put my faith in a guy with a hole in the shoulder of his shirt? I mean, how do you even rip a shirt way up there?
Or this guy who sounds smart enough, but keeps running out of the frame and then I hear a giant inhale and a big puff of smoke wafts by.
Or this guy. He has the COOLEST dog EVER!!! Sure, he’s recommending using butcher’s twine and a baby spoon to replace the washer suspension rods, but could a guy with a dog that amazing really steer me wrong?
YouTube, why do you do this to me?!? You fill me with both confidence and fear. You paralyze me with indecision. You make me seriously consider stuffing bras in household appliances. Forget the fire hazard – that could be pricier than buying a new expensive (cheap) washer.