My goodness gracious, I have been married for 10 years. Ten WHOLE years! All 520 months, a complete 3,650 days and, except for a tense five minutes several years back when I said her pants looked like a road map back to the ’60s (I blame tainted beer), I’ve made it more than 87,000 hours.
Isn’t that amazing, and wonderful? Doesn’t that sound like a monumental accomplishment? Like I should be in the Guinness Book of World Records? At least deserving of a medal. The life expectancy of modern marriages is unfortunately not that long.
But this woman — a wonderful, beautiful, smart and witty woman — has put up with me for that many years. Me! Little ‘ole me. A lot of people figured the whole thing wouldn’t last more than 15 minutes because I have a knack for saying really stupid things and thinking they’re funny.
When we were at the altar and I was asked if I would take this woman, I think I said out loud, “Now, point out which one she is again.”
I jest. I’m not that quick on my feet.
The truth is we have an amazing marriage that works because it is anchored in friendship, bound by humility, wrapped up in a genuine concern for each other, and drizzled with this unexplainable passion to be around each other. We don’t make each other crazy, and I think I’m speaking for the two of us here. (I hope.)
I’m very lucky in that respect. Years ago, long before we were married, and back in those formative, living-in-sin days, I found the perfect puzzle piece. Either the stars aligned, or I’m just irresistibly good looking. (Thank you, stars!)
Now here we are.
My sister-in-law wrote in an anniversary card that the traditional gift for your 10th year is aluminum or tin. The thinking goes that for a marriage to last that long, it must be pliable, yet strong — it can bend, but cannot break. Personally, I think it is aluminum because after 10 years of marriage, about all you can afford to give each other is a six-pack of Cokes. But hers sounds better, and she gave us each a tiny square of tin foil to keep in our wallets as reminders of this fact.
It’s a nice sentiment, and sounds about right. Life hasn’t been without its ups and downs, and marriage has certainly had its own challenges. Things are infinitely more complicated now that we have another mouth to feed — this little person to care for. The road ahead is no longer just a carefree path to the next vacation or big night out. It’s potholed with mortgage payments, worries about college tuition costs and that inevitable first date when my little girl finally turns 35.
A lot has sure changed in 10 years, and it’s easy in a sense to think back to where it all began and to even want to return to those simpler times. But you know, I wouldn’t want to go back, nor would I change a single thing. We get to where we are, and who we are, by that road we wandered. If not for my wife, my wonderful wife, I wouldn’t be who I am today. I wouldn’t have this little pixy of a daughter who has brought me so much joy. I wouldn’t have this perfect life.
Ten years isn’t just a milestone — some mark you hit like a good time in a running race. It’s actually this chance to reflect back on it all and revel in how lucky I’ve been. How wonderful it’s been.
Thanks to you, my friend, these have been the 10 best years of my life. Well, maybe except for those wretched five minutes when I let my mouth get the best of me. But that just gives me something to work on as I start thinking about 10 more.