A week off at home. What to do with the time? So many possibilities. So many projects. So many things that will never — even in the fantasy-land I live in — ever get started.
I always take time off to go somewhere, but never to just stay at home, to get things done, and spend time with family. It always seemed such an appealing idea, though. And that the possibilities — the accomplishments — would be so well possible. Why not have fun, and get stuff done? So that was my big plan this week.
How’s it going? Well, let’s take a look:
Planned activity: Paint the shed. I improved, fixed, re-sided and generally did just enough on my shed to keep it from collapsing into a heap of rubble and termite-eaten dust. The only thing left, my wife has pointed out on numerous occasions, was to paint it.
E-gad!
Reality: Actually, I’m doing pretty well on this one. How is beyond me. There are few things less appealing to do than painting. It’s even worse when it’s just a shed. Why? It’s a shed! Who cares about a shed? It’s where I keep tools and the lawnmower. It smells funny. Critters live in there and it’s dirty. There are rooms in my house that haven’t been painted in years, but I’m supposed to go out and dress up a crap shack? It’s a shed!
But I’m actually making progress, despite the mosquitoes, who wanted a different color and threatened to sue. Despite the inclement weather, which decided to pull in just as I got about midway through the project. Now I have to worry about rain streaks down the walls. This will go well with my already-terrible painting skills. I can’t paint trim to save my life, and if you saw it, you would wonder why I had hired a painter who was obviously drunk.
In my defense, it’s nearly done, which is great considering when it comes to painting, I don’t usually last more than 20 minutes before faking a major kidney ailment.
Too bad I ran out of paint, which means I won’t be able to finish until early next year.
Planned activity: Wake up early to drink Cuban coffee and catch up on newspapers BY MYSELF!
Reality: My little daughter picked this week to start waking up even earlier than me, and now demands I turn on Sesame Street. I do make coffee, but then I have to sit and watch Elmo. Newspapers are still stacking up.
Planned activity: Drink beer early in the day and grill sausages whenever I feel like it.
Reality: Not going according the plan. Refrigerator is neither stocked with beer nor sausages. I did, however, eat a can of roasted almonds.
Planned activity: Surf every day.
Reality: I’ve looked at the surf report twice, and nearly went Tuesday morning. Watched Elmo instead, in board shorts.
Planned activities: Take at least one nap. Write this column early (Hah!). Read some books. Watch TV until my eyes bleed. Fix leaking gulley. Check fluids in the car. Backup the computer. Teach the dog how to scramble eggs. Paint the deck. Figure out how to make so much money off the stock market that once I’m done, Congress passes a law to make it illegal. Organize socks. Figure out how to backup my computer. Think about really cool things, like how I would eat if my fingernails were two-feet-long or whether a squirrel could be trained to change the oil in my car. Write a novel.
Reality: Not going so well at all. Zero accomplishment at time of my writing this. And now I gotta’ go the kid is literally pulling me wants to watch Big Bird (no joke!) At least I’ve been able to spend time with her. Check one thing off my list.