Florida – Page 2 – Nutshellcity.com

2021 Nutshells, Florida, Weather

In the height of the hurricane season, doing some amateur meteorological … stuff?

September 13, 2021 No Comments

Tighten the chin strap on your helmet. Tug gently on your shoulder pads to make sure they’re good and snug. Growl, slowly and deeply. From down inside you. Like a bear. Or someone choking on a cough drop. Slide down into a three-point-stance. Make sure your feet have good traction. Dig in. Take a deep breath. Focus.

Then … pull up some hurricane forecast models and make yourself crazy!

It’s hurricane season, baby. Hut, hut, HUT!!!

We’re now in the height of hurricane season. My wife mentioned this the other day. How she read we are officially at the peak. That time of year when the Tropics become their most active, erratically launching wave after wave of spinning storms like a drunk in a shooting gallery.

And me? I spend my entire existence staring at animated forecast models and mumbling, “We’re doomed … and drowned … and all in between!”

Some might call it an addiction, but I like to think of it more as a hobby. I’ve always wanted a hobby. Especially one that ruins my blood pressure.

2021 Nutshells, Family, Florida, Travel, Weather

The Florida summer fine-line between fun and crazy

August 20, 2021 No Comments

You know, in Florida there has always been a fine line between really fun and really stupid. I don’t know why that is. And I say this as a third generation Floridian. It means I can say it without having anyone read into too deeply into it. Look, we all know it’s true. And no one can say for sure what causes it.

It just is. That’s Florida.

It causes us to do crazy things. Like try to tickle alligators to see if they laugh. Drive at incredibly high speeds on the interstate while hanging out the window. Buy expensive houses on the coast. Go to Disney World in August.

Let me repeat: Go to Disney World in the HEAT of August. The blistering, driving, pounding, unrelenting heat. The kind that will turn the weak into beef jerky in a matter of minutes. And because a pandemic is still going on, will mean you have to wear masks in various locations. One more layer of fabric to keep in the heat.

This is what we decided to do as a family last week. One last hoorah before the start of the school year. A quick overnight trip to Orlando and a day in the park. Crowds were supposed to be slightly thinner, and average temperatures only slightly higher than the surface of the sun.

2021 Nutshells, Family, Florida, Travel

A Florida camping expedition beset by dust and sink holes

May 27, 2021 No Comments

Dusty tent? De-dusted. Vehicle? Three-inch crust of dirt chipped loose with industrial chisels and diamond-coated scrapers. Body? Soaped, scrubbed and exfoliated. But … still needs another 18 or 19 full washes, plus a professional-grade pressure washing. All to get the layers of grime, bug spray, sweat, dirt and other varieties of filth completely off.

And that was just from one night of camping.

What would it have been with two?!?

This was our big family camping excursion. The one my daughter has been asking to go on. The one my brother signed us up for, along with his wife, 7-year-old nephew and my dad. Dragged us all out to a Central Florida state park along a river with water the color of bad coffee. He picked it special because it’s also known for ensuring you get to see more dust than water.

2021 Nutshells, Florida, Houses, yards and projects

A Florida yard that gives back in spades

May 20, 2021 No Comments

I’ve decided to grow blackberries. I’ve decided to grow blackberries because I went over to my mother’s house and she said, “Look at my blackberries. Aren’t they wonderful? Taste one. They’re delicious! I am God’s gift to gardening. Brag, brag, brag.”

And I hate to admit this. It absolutely pains me to admit this. Because I’ve never agreed with my mother about anything in my entire life. But they WERE delicious. And they did look wonderful. And I thought to myself: Even though I may never hear the end of it – “See? Aren’t you glad I’m such a great gardener and taught you everything you know!” — I should try to grow some myself.

Because they were that delicious.

I’ve always believed that your yard should produce things. It should have meaning and purpose. Where you can see – literally – the fruits of your labor.

It shouldn’t just be pretty. I don’t want a yard where I spend all my time toiling and sweating so I can point and say, “Look. I made … green!”

If I’m going to fight thorns and weeds and roots and insects and, worst of all, dirt, I want a yard that gives me something back: a fruit-filled, butterfly-flying, bee-embracing earthy wonderland. A giving garden.

2021 Nutshells, Family, Florida, Parenthood and Children

A new driver dodging and weaving through downtown streets

April 7, 2021 No Comments

The wait is over. The day has arrived. Anticipation has given way to reality. It has all come to fruition.

The kid has a license to drive.

The kid. The child! The wee little one … who isn’t so little. They permitted her. The state, in all their wisdom, noted that she was 15. Made her complete a course on alcohol and drugs. Required her to study a manual about driving – hands at 10 and 2 on the wheel, don’t run over small animals on purpose and all that – and then quizzed her on it. She passed it, of course. And then they checked her eyesight – she could generally tell the difference between a “B” and a “D” – and gave her a learner’s permit.

A license to drive!

It comes with some restrictions. The main one is that she must be accompanied by a licensed driver in the front passenger seat of the car at all times.

The FRONT passenger seat!

2021 Nutshells, Coronavirus, Florida, Health, In the News

Dropping everything and following the blue arrows to a COVID vaccine

March 17, 2021 No Comments

When you get a chance at the COVID vaccine, you drop everything and go. You go like there’s a gold rush. You go like you just had a psychic vision of the winning lottery numbers. You go like you’re not actually sitting in a meeting at work.

You just get up and you go.

That’s what I did last week when I heard several colleagues I work with say that the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) facility in Jacksonville was vaccinating anyone working in education, including those like us who work at colleges or universities. They had been up to the facility, which news reports say had seen thinner demand and wasn’t administering as many vaccines as it was setup for, and were quickly moved through the process after showing their college IDs.

No wait for a vaccine and only an hour away? You don’t have to tell this guy twice. Have arm, will travel.

It had already been an exciting week on the vaccine front in our household. My wife, a pre-school teacher, had been vaccinated that Monday. She got the Johnson and Johnson vaccine at CVS – the one-and-done shot that needs no follow-up booster, and is supposed to have a similar efficacy to the others when it comes to the most severe effects of the virus.

2021 Nutshells, Florida, Houses, yards and projects, Weather

The unending battle with the spring-time Florida yard

February 22, 2021 No Comments

And so my yard said unto me, “Go, ye forsaken skunk, for ye shall not tame me. Wasteth not your breath, for I shall not be conquered, or kept at bay. I am the Indomitable Yard. The one who rages in your nightmares like a wild hurricane. The one who can withstand any assault. The one who rises up like the Phoenix to retake what is rightfully mine. And you? You are just a small, sniveling man with a pair of dull pruning shears and a rusty shovel. Lowly wretch! Oh, and by the way: there’s an ant crawling on your neck. You might want to swat that off before … ulp … yep, it bit you. Man, you are just a total mess.”

This is what my yard said unto me. It hurt. Both the ant bite, but also the general tone of its voice. Its confidence. It’s arrogance.

“Ye shall not tame me!” Oh, how I shall try.

I’ve been trying. So many years of trying. We all have. Yards are a constant battle. An ongoing struggle between weeds and vines and mountains of swelling leaves that threaten to avalanche on our houses.

For most of us, our yards are the last throwback to a bygone era when we had to battle with Mother Nature for our very survival. And sometimes, even today, our survival still depends upon it. Like when my wife calls out, “have you figured out why the vine keeps growing up through the bathroom floor!?!” only I’m actually sitting on the sofa watching soccer.

2021 Nutshells, Family, Florida, Travel

The outdoor weekend excursion planning checklist

February 2, 2021 No Comments

All right! The weather is finally starting to turn a little more spring-like. That means we native Floridians are less likely to die of frostbite or hypothermia when we take the garbage to the curb. (Almost didn’t make it back last week. Lost three toes.) This also means we can begin venturing back into the wilds in search of adventure through hiking, kayaking, fishing and for some really extreme types, cross country cornhole.

So, as you begin to consider what outdoor adventures you might search out as the first twinklings of spring arrive, I’ve put together a checklist of items to help you begin planning your outdoor weekend excursions:

• Taking your dog with you will be an excellent idea and a truly enjoyable experience … right up to the moment that she throws up all over the back seat because she remembers how as a puppy she used to get motion sickness. It is important to keep in mind at moments like this: The idea was truly terrible and someone else should be blamed for it.

• When you head out with family and set a time to leave, remember this: They always stop for coffee and donuts. So, add two hours to your actual departure time and plan to sleep in.

2021 Nutshells, Coronavirus, Family, Florida, Health, Technology

Winning the COVID-19 vaccine lottery

January 25, 2021 No Comments

Fireworks rang out. Ticker tape fell from the ceiling. A line of dancing penguins waltzed across the room waving flags that read, “You did it!” and “Congratulations!” U2 burst from a closet singing their great rock anthem, “It’s a Beautiful Day.”

Oh, yes. Yes, it truly was.

We had just scored family members COVID-19 vaccines. The most exclusive ball of the season. The rock star event of the year. The Holy Grail of health.

“Wow!” my wife said. “It’s like a ‘We won the lottery’ rush!”

Well, maybe not quite that. Someone in Michigan just took home a billion dollars in Lotto. He or she can afford to get the vaccine while riding in a gold-plated rocket.

But, still pretty darn exciting. Our own lottery win.

Maybe you know what I’m talking about. The feeling? Along with frontline workers, anyone 65 and older is eligible for the COVID-19 vaccine. But just satisfying the age requirement is the easy part. Getting the actual shot is where the trick comes in. Here in Florida, it means trying early in the morning to snag one of the availabilities in our county’s online reservation system. Frantically searching out days or times for available “shot slots” in the hope that you will be one of the lucky souls to come away with an appointment.

2021 Nutshells, Coronavirus, Family, Florida, Holidays

A jelly jar’s worth of memories from 2020

January 4, 2021 No Comments

We started a new tradition last year. In January 2020. You know “that” year. The little goblin. The stinker. Someone got it in their head that it would be a good idea for our family to chronicle each week’s “highlights.” Seemed like a good year to launch it, back when things first got started in 2020. So full of promise. A big, bright horizon ahead. Lots to look forward to and record for posterity.

And it probably would have been a good idea … ANY OTHER YEAR!

Each Sunday we would gather around the table for dinner – mother father and daughter jotting down our favorite memories, highlights or pretty much anything worth mentioning from the previous week. We would write them on a piece of paper, fold it up and put it in a glass jelly jar. The idea was this: a year later, on New Year’s Eve, we would open up the jar and as a family, read through all the little highlights. Remember all that had transpired in the passing year.

A jar full of remembrances. A 2020 time capsule.

What a great idea! Cue sound of blowing raspberry.

Of all the years.

But we did it. Not all year. There were huge gaps – whole weeks, and even months missing. A little spotty, but the jar filled nonetheless.